Compounded

So I had a glass of wine tonight.  I had a few.  And when I got home I danced around my studio apartment holding my laptop in my left hand.  I held my laptop because it had my earphones attached to it and the speakers my netbook offer just didn't do the Miseducation of Lauren Hill justice.  I danced because I was feeling pretty good.  Not that life in Saudi, or life in general, doesn't offer plenty of moments to merit dancing, but at this moment, in this place it felt right.  The wine had something to do with it.  The conversation, the ridiculous music, the company, like any night out, all contributed as well.  The fact that I through no particularly deliberate effort of my own managed to experience something that while commonplace throughout much of the world, I did here, in a place where most would think that you can't; that helped.  But the kicker, what made the experience so particularly dance-worthy in this moment, was that it-- the whole evening, the wine, my friends, the compound, their place in Saudi, as well as my own-- all just made so much sense.  And I love that feeling-- the feeling when you experience something new, but afterwards it seems familiar-- like "of course that’s how it is. How else could it be?"

The compound I went to is there for the purpose of housing western foreigners.  It is protected by a series of 10 ft. high barbed wire fences and 20 ft. high concrete walls as well as armed security personnel and is only accessible by invitation.  I had no reservations whatsoever about having a glass of wine with dinner and a few after.  It's what the people there do.  Everyone was in basically the same position I am, although not nearly on the same budget (one drink= $11US and some people were hammered). They just wanted some respite from the restrictions of life in Saudi, and it's nearly impossible to blame them.  Women could take off there abayas and head scarves.  Music was pumping.  You could speak openly, about anything. People were just kicking back after a long work week.   And it was nice.  I understood completely and I partook.

It was one of the smaller compounds.  I don't know how big in all but in comparison with some of the others that have 10 full-sized football pitches, 20+ restaurant/bars and cafes, more swimming pools then could ever be needed and their own airstrip, this one only had one pool and one restaurant.  No airstrip.  It wasn't a city unto itself like some you hear about.  But the apartment buildings looked nice from what I could tell, and I didn't see any houses but that doesn't mean there weren't any.   It had a small gym, a rec area with billiards, ping pong and foosball, one squash and two tennis courts where anybody could play, including women, which is not the case just outside the walls.  One colleague of mine commented that it reminded him of retirement and assisted living homes in Florida.  Palm trees, low buildings, a pool and restaurant.  He had a point.

 But as I sat there, drinking white wine (which they make there, not import, and which has the more than subtle taste of white vinegar), listening to terrible but awesome country music renditions of Christmas classics, talking about grad school and travel experiences, I was quite happy with my decision not to live on one of these.  It was great to visit.  It was great to "get away" from Saudi.  It was great to have a glass of wine.  But it was too easy, too comfortable.  I could have been in Florida.  It's not a way to experience a culture.  It's a way to hide from one.  It's a way to be imprisoned by one more like it, which considering the oppressiveness of the culture here, is by no means unreasonable.  And while it's fine for some, and while if I were in my second, third, fourth, etcetera year here I might be singing a much different tune, I can say I'm happy where I am.  I'm happy to be experiencing it all, taking it all in-- the good and the bad, the harsh and the unpleasant.  And I'm happy that I don't feel enclosed, like I have to be in a veritable prison to feel freedom.  I'll definitely go back.  The food was good and I had a good time.  I was able to relax.  But then again, after a little dancing and throwing some thoughts down on my blog, I'm relaxing right now, and doing a pretty good job of it if you ask me.